Sean Connery rushed into surgery!

Sean Connery has been rushed into surgery today to have his sides sewn up after they split.

Aids report that he was found laughing so hard that not only had his sides split but was sitting in a suspicious patch of "liquid".

Beside him were reports of the funding scandal Wendy Alexander is embroiled in. Having passed a law almost specifically designed to stop Sean Connery donating to the SNP, which he has now complied with it appears that Sean suffered from far too much laughter seeing them caught in their own trap.

Doctors say that the operation has gone well. There was no need for anesthetic as the laughter was far better.

Visitors to hospital report Sean is sitting up in bed, still laughing his a*se off.

Guido has this.

(PS, for the daft, this is a joke)