Zimbabwe Elections results miscounted: Official!

A Zanu PF spokesman, who did not wish to be named has made issued a statement:

The election results have been miscounted by the Electoral Commission of Zimbabwe. They did not realise that each vote for Zanu PF should be cherished and loved, and more importantly counted many times. We have invited the electoral commission to a secret location so that they can correct their error without being held up to public ridicule.

We do however expect the recount to take some time as some fingers of the electoral commission staff were accidentally injured whilst explaining their error to them.

We thank the people Zimbabwe for their patience and the results will be available as soon as they have been cooked enough recounted.

The BBC, on the other hand, has this.